How do I determine spped online for server running?

I was playing on a game console in a server where the host's connection is laggy to where he can see his fire on your ships, but you can't but later see damage. I've told him when running a server he needs to have a good connection to take on other connections. Is there something on the internet that can read his connection speed and such and from that information is there a standard level that deems you fit to run servers online without heavy lag? Meaning you must have a connection this fast before running a server. I know this forum has nothing to do with console gaming, but whether he's on a console or running a pc server I believe the same server speed standards and rules apply. When I tried to explain to him the reason why he can see everything fine on his side, but that I can see actions later. I hope I was correct in saying that no matter how good your connection is your subject to how fast the host's connection is. Am I correct?

Though I'm not a tech on this site I have had similar problems with PC games. One, is there any way to check the servers ping if so; two if you can know the higher the number under the ping column is the greater the lag. This is something that is a suggestion and doesn't have to be done if you don't want to.

Unless he is paying for a business class or better connection, the upload speed is artificially capped by all ISPs exactly for this purpose, to prevent you from running a server. Most cap it at around 270KB (or is that Kb)?