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Your best joke.

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A good reason to love your job …

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in
Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below…

~Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.

A wet-suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.

It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds the area started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, where it did stick was unfortunate.

When I scratched, what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish up, which of course made things rather penetrative and far worse.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't use the toilet for five days because my posterior was swollen shut.


So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it could be.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you are having a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!


Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift ~

Cheers,
Lee
What did one eye say to the other eye? "There's something between us that smells!" What did one ear say to the other ear? "Meet you at the corner!" What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? "If you weren't so FRESH, we wouldn't have gotten into this JAM!" What did one hand say to the other hand? "Hey Lefty! Let's plant our palms on either side with 8 digits inbetween and we'll really nail it for two thumbs up as we turn a pinky shade. Accordingly, the 2 middle index rings point out knuckleheads who hold each other securely in one fist." "Cool Righty! Hey! There's a church without a steeple so we'll open the door for even MORE people!" "High 5 Dude!" "FAH LAN GEES RULE!" "Yeah, but the Carp Ore Tunnel might cause a wrist twist." "AWWW, don't worry!! Don't you realize how HANDY we are?" "HA - Love is all around, why don't you take it? la la la la la la la la la la We're gonna make it after all!" [Then they each twirl around, grab a baret and throw hats into the air as the camera shot freezes.] END SCENE B)